Ever been on a first date you thought went really well, only to never hear from her again?
It can drive you crazy going through every conversation with a fine tooth comb, trying to figure out what went wrong.
There are sometimes very small details which can stop a woman feeling attracted to you. Many are so subtle that men wouldn’t believe they could have an impact.
By being aware of these subtleties, you’ll be more likely to turn your first dates into loving relationships, rather than striking out before first base.
You’ve probably heard the tried-and-tested advice suggesting to ask people about themselves.
Dale Carnegie and his famous book ‘How To Win Friends & Influence People’ swear by it – and it’s good to try and get to know someone on your first date.
But too many questions can send a date crashing downhill, especially if they’re from the same dull script that every other dude has used before.
‘What do you do?’
‘Where did you go to school?’
‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’
‘Do you have any pets?’
People love to speak about themselves, but these questions are putting her in autopilot mode. They’re definitely not making her heartstrings tingle.
A simple solution: turn your questions into assumptions.
Say: ‘I bet you’re the type of woman that…’ and take your shot. She’ll be curious why you’d make such an assumption and will be far more invested in the conversation.
A great first date location is quiet enough for you to talk to each other. At the same time, there should be some sort of entertaining distraction that makes the event somewhat memorable.
This shows you made an effort to choose a fun venue, but also provides an easy out in the case of the dreaded ‘awkward silence’.
Fancy cocktail bars or restaurants can be romantic, but there’s too much pressure to make interesting conversation here. The silences are all too obvious.
The silences aren’t awkward if you’re checking out the penguins at the zoo, or even the scenery as you stroll through the park.
You’ll have more to talk about at places like this and you’ll probably enjoy it more too. There’s less pressure to enjoy each other’s company, which ironically makes it easier to do so.
Failing to screen
It’s a good idea to get your online matches out on a date as soon as possible. Better that than being stuck as texting buddies until she gets bored and meets up with someone else.
Nevertheless, it’s still important to screen these women for your dating deal-breakers.
Do you only date girls who are active and adventurous? Are their views on kids, politics or religion important to you? Is this woman a catfish?
You can save a lot of time by finding these things out before you go out with them. I like to call girls before asking them out to see if they can hold an actual conversation.
Fashion and grooming
Few women will expect you to dress in your Sunday best for a first date. Smart-casual usually works fine, but there are a few subtle elements of your appearance that are worth making an effort with.
Body odor and bad breath are obvious turn-offs, but the most surprisingly commonly-complained-about mistakes I’ve heard are dirty nails and scruffy shoes. If you can’t take care of these, how can she expect you to take care of her?
You might see these pointers as unimportant, and there’s plenty of women who will turn a blind eye to them, but others will see them as deal-breakers.
Considering the minimal effort required to fix yourself up here, it’s worth doing so.
Dating too far from your house
Sex on the first date is far from essential for securing the second meeting. Many women won’t be up for heading back to your house no matter how much they like you.
However, some will, especially if it’s not too much effort.
It’s worth scheduling your date somewhere close to your home. This way, you always have the option of inviting her back if things are going really well.
Great sex is the perfect finale to a brilliant first date – and the best way to ensure she’s desperate to see you again.
If you’re stranded too far away from home, you’re sabotaging the opportunity to turn a decent first date into an unforgettable one.