A leader. A go-getter. A winner who is mentally and emotionally strong. These are all traits associated with masculinity.
Businesses want bosses with these traits. Women want boyfriends with these traits. Everyone wants masculine men in their lives.
But what if these traits don’t come naturally to you?
You can learn how to develop them – or live a life where you’re always overlooked in favour of the alpha male.
Below are five tips to help you do the former.
Maybe you self-identify as an ‘easy-going dude’ who prefers to let others make decisions. Perhaps you aren’t interested in the stress of making decisions?
That’s swell, but it’s not doing a lot to help others see you as a potential boss, boyfriend or father.
Taking the lead becomes easier with practice. It might feel uncomfortable at first. Maybe you’ll face confrontation from other alphas in the group…
Still, the more you try it, the more natural it will feel. Before you know it, you’ll be seen as a natural-born leader.
Indecisiveness has been linked with low self-esteem (Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-emotional-meter/201711/7-tips-how-kick-the-habit-indecisiveness), as sufferers tend to think that others are more capable of making smart decisions.
The truth is: almost everyone is waiting for a leader to step forward and make a decision for them. Deep down, we all feel as clueless as each other. If you step up and become that leader, you’ll typically receive gratitude and respect from the group.
#2 Stop being so needy for women
Neediness is also commonly listed among the biggest turn-offs for women.
This could well be because it’s inherently feminine.
Men are biologically programmed to spread their seed as wide as possible, while women are programmed to find a stable partner to support her during pregnancy and the child’s early years.
Women are born to seek monogamy, not men. That’s why they naturally find it so repulsive when you’re desperate to become her boyfriend.
Stop falling in love with women you’ve just met. Have other passions (or other women) in your life that help you keep your mind off her. Give her the space to chase you, and she’ll be more likely to do just that.
#3 Find your purpose
Masculinity is often associated with purposefulness.
Every hero in history had a purpose they’d rather die than fail to see through.
Any purpose worth chasing will be difficult to achieve. Through discovering and pursuing it, you’ll naturally become that passionate go-getter with infectious positivity. You’ll gain the emotional strength linked with overcoming failure.
By doing so, you’ll transform into that winner who sets goals and gets them done.
Perhaps you haven’t found your purpose yet. That’s fine. Try a bunch of new activities and see what resonates with you. You’ll know it’s your purpose when you come across it.
David Deida, author of one of the world’s most highly-praised books on masculinity ‘ The Way Of The Superior Man’, says a man’s purpose should be his deepest priority.
In the book, he explains:
“If you aren’t living from your core, giving your fullest gifts, everyone
will feel your lack of true purpose. Your kids will challenge your authority. Your colleagues will take advantage of you. Your friends won’t expect
much of you. And your wife won’t trust you.”
#4 Lift heavy weights
You don’t need to be physically strong to be masculine.
Still, a solid workout plan will teach you a lot of the qualities associated with masculinity.
You’ll develop the mental strength to persist through pain, as well as set goals and pursue them. You’ll increase your testosterone levels. Plus, you’ll grow into that strong man that can protect his family.
Regular cardio will have a similar impact. Among the huge list of associated health benefits (link https://runrepeat.com/what-running-does-to-your-body), it has been linked with higher levels of free testosterone and higher sperm counts, increasing your libido and inspiring a core sense of masculinity.
#5 Self-generate your emotions
Masculine men are in control of their emotions. Effeminate men let their emotions control them.
Which category are you in? Are you someone who loses self-belief or loses their temper when things go wrong?
This isn’t a useful skill for the leader of a business, nor the leader of a family.
Emotional stability is built in adversity.
Previous generations of men were exposed to that in abundance. They’d get beaten if they misbehaved at school. They’d have to ask women out to their face, without the safety of a smartphone screen protecting their egos. Perhaps they had to serve their country at war.
Millennials may not have faced any of this adversity, which is why they’re commonly labelled as the ‘snowflake generation’.
You’ll face plenty of adversity by following the previous four tips, and it’ll serve to make you more emotionally stable.
What doesn’t kill you makes you more masculine.