For most couples, the quality of sex plays a big role in the long-term success of the relationship. Once the honeymoon phase has passed and life picks up as normal again, many couples often find their once-great sex lives deteriorating into a lackluster lovemaking routine. You might be in this situation currently, or you might just be proactively worrying about future problems. Either way, there are ways to solve (or prevent) your subpar sex life, and if you keep reading, you’ll be able to rest assured that your sex life won’t ever lose that “spark” again!
The Key to Having a Great Sex Life
It’s surprisingly simple: the key to having a great sex life is to keep trying new & exciting things that both you and your partner enjoy! Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, so many couples decide to stick to what they already know, rather than experiment with new poses, techniques, or situations.
For some, this actually works, and they’re able to make each sexual encounter as fresh & exciting as the last. These lucky couples may choose to experiment but they don’t have to. Sadly, this isn’t true for the majority of us, as routines get boring over time. Of course, your sex life might not be so easy to define, which can make it hard to tell if you’re moving in the right direction. Use the checklists below to see where your sex life stacks up!
Signs Your Sex Life is Alive & Well
You instantly get excited. Being aroused by your partner might seem like a no-brainer, but often, partners don’t find each other as attractive later in the relationship as they did early on. If the sight of your partner’s body instantly gets you aroused then this is a good sign!
You look forward to having sex with your partner. Scheduling issues might come up, but if you really want something, you’ll find a way to make it work!
You rarely (if ever) fantasize about having sex with someone else. Casual fantasies are both common and normal, but when you think about sex seriously, it always involves your partner.
You both “finish” the majority of the time. With two parties involved, both should get equal pleasure! If you’re both “finishing” the majority of the time then this not only signifies a good sex life but a high level of communication as well.
Foreplay is a major part of your sex life. The finish line is in sight, but you’re simply there to enjoy the ride: no rush!
Signs Your Sex Life is Dying
You don’t find your partner as attractive anymore. An obvious roadblock to your sex life, not finding your partner sexually attractive will certainly have a negative effect on your lovemaking.
You don’t look forward to having sex. When sex becomes a chore, your level of engagement will certainly go down. You might be going through the motions, but if you’re simply fulfilling a “task” rather than engaging in a pleasurable activity, you’re doing something wrong!
You’re constantly lusting after someone else. Casual fantasies are normal, but when this third-party hottie replaces your significant other in your mind, your sex life is sure to go downhill.
Hitting the “finish line” is a rare occurrence. Without a satisfying ending, the effort can seem almost pointless, especially if you’re disappointed time and time again.
Foreplay is non-existent in your sex life. Foreplay is one of the most sensual & communicative moments in your sex life! Without any foreplay, you’re missing out on a large part of the sexual experience.
Now that we’ve gone over the positive & negative signs to look for in your sex life, you probably have a pretty good idea of where it currently stands. Even if your sex life is going great, there’s always room for improvement, so consider trying some of the suggestions below!
Switching Times & Changing Location
Running through the same routines can quickly get tiresome, especially if you always have sex around the same time. Consider trying spontaneous sex instead! While you’ll need to make sure that you can both take time out of your day for bedroom activities, this is likely something you’ll know in advance.
Simply wait until your partner has some free time and then sweep them into the bedroom. This simple change might not seem like it could make a difference, but in fact, even having sex earlier (or later) than normal can be enough to improve your lovemaking overall!
If changing the time hasn’t added the excitement you’re after, consider changing the location as well. There are many places you can have sex in your home aside from the bedroom (such as the kitchen, living room, bathroom, garage, etc.) that still provide an adequate level of privacy.
For more adventurous couples, driving out to someplace special for an exciting encounter may be a better option, but this is entirely up to you & your comfort zones.
Adding Excitement With Props & Toys
Another great way to spice up your sex life is by using toys & props! Toys are great for foreplay since they allow you to satisfy your partner easier, which in turn gives you more energy for later on. Dildos, vibrators, anal vibrators, and butt plugs are excellent for foreplay since they can be enjoyed by both partners.
Props can be used in foreplay, roleplay, and intercourse (depending on the prop), which helps make the encounter much more “exciting” than simply remaining in bed the whole time. With so many different sex props on the market today, it’s easy to add chair sex, facesitting, or erotic rope bondage to your new sex routine, saving the bed for your big finale (or even skipping it entirely!). Using toys & props in the bedroom opens up a plethora of new options, ensuring that your sex life is always engaging and exciting!
You Don’t Have to Do Everything
If you think your sex life is fine as is, then who are we to tell you it’s not? Truthfully, only you & your partner can truly know the quality of your sex life. While changing locations or incorporating toys may work for some couples, it won’t work for every couple, so you shouldn’t try to force it.
If you’ve tried all the tips above and your sex life still needs improvement, there’s likely a simple solution: just try a new sex position! It might take a bit of trial and error, but if you work together with your partner and communicate your need throughout the process, you’re sure to eventually find the perfect sex routine that works for you.