Human as we are, we are born to love and need to be loved. It’s a natural thing no one can beg to disagree.
But the real questions are, where can we find love? How do we look for the right person to love? And if she comes, how do we know if she is the perfect person to spend the rest of our lives with?
A Little Disclaimer
One thing that we must understand and keep in mind, love is not at some specific place that we must go and find. It is something that is out there, dormant, silently waiting to be stumbled upon. We’ll never know a single hint when and where it’s going to hit us. We’ll be surprised to see she is right there, and once we recognize the feeling, and know that the feelings are mutual, our love stories begin.
But of course, having found our matches does not necessarily mean having found the perfect relationship. A lot of wedding vows are broken, and failures in marriage do happen because of some guys, after the wedding, get to realize that their wives are not the right one. Is this even possible? Yes, definitely. This is somewhat one of the underlying causes of divorce between couples. Do not get this wrong, relationships are perfect not by the absence of flaws but because they are with flaws and yet they remain and not fall apart despite all that. They even get stronger to stand the tests of time.
So guys, how do we know if she is the one? If you are the guy who’s had lots of girlfriends or got hooked up with a lot of different girls, and decides getting hitched, chances are, you’ve already found her but you have not been paying any close attention at all, that’s why you can’t really tell if she is the one. These are some signs that would positively help.
You care a lot.
Seriously, this may sound obvious, but I think the first and most important thing that you have to think about and ask yourself is if you care about her, because a lot of people may say that they care, but if asked regarding the extent, well they can’t really answer that much because they have not really cared at all.
Caring is for you to know what she wants and what she needs.
When you make an effort or go an extra mile just to give and do the things that she loves just to see and make her happy, that’s when you care. When she’s down having a hard time and things are rough on her, though you know you can’t fix every one of her problems, you help her by making her feel comfortable and protected during those times that she needs you the most.
When you feel she is important.
Another sign that tells you she’s the one is when you feel that she is critical of you that you think about her first and thinking about yourself becomes automatically second and not minding at all. This is spelled as a sacrifice, and sacrifice defines love. When she’s the one, you are happy and willing to make sacrifices just to see her happy.
You start accepting her flaws.
She’s also the one when you love her for who she is and accepts her despite her apparent imperfections. C’mon, no guy can ever find a single woman that can live up to his seemingly perfect expectations and standards, because no woman is perfect. You love her for this, but you’ll leave her because of that. Think about it, when you do leave her because you can’t accept some things about her, and you start looking for another one, she’s not the one.
She’s part of your plans.
Another sign that tells you she’s the one is when you want and see a life with her in the future. That’s why when everything seems so wrong between the two of you, you seriously resolve your fights, say sorry even if it is not your fault, and does not argue or insist that you are right even if you really are, thinking that one day she’ll get to her senses and admits that you are right.
These are two messages I heard my father said when I got married, one, marriage is not something that you put in your mouth when you realize it is hot, you spit it out. Second, it also isn’t about looking for the right person to live and be with; it’s about having the person you indeed can’t live without.