You’re back from a great date and it’s gone straight to your head. Odds are you’re sitting there trying to figure out what kind of clever thing you can type text and how soon you can text it without seeming desperate.
Post-date high is the number one culprit of truly horrible follow-up texts, the number one killer of new and budding romances. What you say, not when you say it, is the key to successfully following through after a first successful foray into the dating world.
The hardest part is figuring out how you’re feeling about the date before you start worrying about what anyone else is feeling. How soon do you want to see them again? When do you have free time next? Don’t text them back 7 weeks after your date expecting everything to be fine, but make sure you reach out when it feels its most organic, and not because you think you ‘should’.
Below are a list things you definitely should or should not do coming off of the aforementioned post-date high if you’re trying to come across as… well, yourself.
Don’t Play Games
If you want to talk to someone, talk to them. You wouldn’t feel great if someone did it to you, so don’t be that guy. “What do you mean by playing games?” you might be asking, which we both know is just a game you’re actively playing with yourself, pretending not to know what I mean because you would never do that. Either way, I’ll bite.
If you’re sitting there trying to get into her head to figure out what it is pricesely you should say, or just how long you should ignore her responses before you give her one, you’re playing games. If you’re feigning a lack of availability to make yourself seem more desirable, if you’re pretending to be more aloof than you are, or dressing differently than you’d normally dress, whatever.
Don’t Get in Touch With Nothing to Say
“Hey” is not a follow up text. “What’s up” is not a proper response to a great date, it’s just a lame and sort of cowardly engagement, and you’re better than that. Don’t say anything that could be seen as a waste of time. A great practice is visualizing how it’d be for you to recieve whatever you’re a about to send yoursel. If it would make you sigh, don’t send it.
It doesn’t have to be something so concrete as an exact place, date and time for the next get together. Just make it something compelling, possibly tentative questions about when she’s free again to get the ball rolling. Which brings me to my most important point.
Say What You Mean
It really is as simple as this: if you have something to say to a person, say it. Did you have a nice time? Do you want to see her again? Put yourself through some real simple preliminary checks and shoot that text out. Decide for yourself where you want this newly budding relationship to go, and lean the narrative in that direction. If she’s genuinely interested in you, it’s going to be evident.
If you were sending a text to a friend whose contact information has been in your phone already for as long as you can remember, how would that read? Try to make your texts seem at least that casual, don’t put any extra weight on what should be such a fun and simple time in this new relationship.
You know what they say, K.I.S.S. You may have heard this mantra in the form of “Keep It Simple, Stupid.” If you’re even reading through the is article, odds are you’re thinking about it too hard already and need to take a chill pill. Next time you find yourself mulling over perfect timing, or filing through ideas of extremely out of character things to text, don’t. Relax, and if you want the relationship to be a normal part of your life, start practicing for it.